And the Plot Thickens...
Yesterday was my boyfriend's 25th birthday. In the morning, I got a phone call from my dad. He asked if my boyfriend was working, and I told him "no, it's Jon's birthday today." He told me he needed to talk to Jon and asked if I could have him call him. I made the stupid mistake of not asking my dad what he wanted to talk to him about. (As some additional background info, my boyfriend is a police officer.) So, I called my boyfriend and asked him to call my dad. My dad told Jon he needed to talk to him in person, needed his advice, and asked to meet with him. Jon met him half an hour later at a park near his house.
I arrived at Jon's house shortly after he came home from meeting with my dad. He told me that my dad pulled out a bunch of papers (like the ones he had been trying to show me and everyone else, as "proof" of what my mom had been supposedly doing). And he basically started trying to convince Jon that his paranoid delusions were real.
He also had new "information." He told my boyfriend that he now believes that my mother is part of a prostitution ring out of a nearby city (that is known for crime and gangs and violence). He said that through this ring my mother has access to over $100k. He also said that he found a piece of paper (one of his "tracings," I'm presuming) with six names on it, including my mother's. It appeared to him to be some sort of vote sheet. Two of the names, including my mother's, had a "no" after it. He claims that this prostitution ring had decided to have my dad killed on July 6, 2006, (he says now that this is when my mom's CD account is up) because he supposedly had found out too much about all this money. He said he was supposed to be shot during a drug deal gone bad in another local city notorious for crime and violence. He then went on to tell my boyfriend that my mother had been with 322 men through this prostitution ring. (If you knew my mother, you would understand how absolutely ludicrous this is. My mother is NOT a prostitute. She doesn't look like the kind of person who could be a prostitute. And morally and spiritually she is not that kind of person either.)
He kept trying to show Jon all of these papers he had. Jon told him that nothing he had would prove anything, and that they wouldn't hold up as evidence. My dad told Jon that he was thinking of tapping the phone lines to find out what was going on. Jon advised him against it, telling him that it was illegal. Then my dad said he knew that my mom's dad had a safe at his house (which is true) and that my dad thinks he knows the combination to the safe. And he thinks that my mom has been hiding money in there. He told Jon he wanted to go over to my grandfather's house, and Jon advised him against that, too. He also said something about my mom shuffling money from one account to like 32 other accounts, in an attempt to not leave a paper trail (which actually would leave MORE of a paper trail... wouldn't it?)
Then he told Jon that he thought he had my two brothers convinced, and that he thought he had his parents convinced of what was going on, and of what my mom was doing. He even said he's been having my youngest brother, who is still living in my parents' house with my mom, bring him pieces of paper (I'm assuming out of notebooks and notepads and stuff my mom has used), and that's how he's getting all this new information.
Then my dad said that he was worried that I didn't believe him. Jon reminded him that I didn't want to be put in the middle of his problems with my mom. And then he told him that unless my dad had official evidence that absolutely proved what he was saying, I wouldn't believe it. It pisses me off because almost two weeks ago I went out to dinner with my dad, and told him I didn't want to be put in the middle. And he told me he understood and agreed that neither myself nor my brothers should be put in the middle of all of this. And then he tries to drag my boyfriend in the middle, essentially to try to convince me!
Jon also told me that my dad was almost definitely on some sort of stimulant when he met with him. He pulled out this card officers use to help identify that someone is under the influence of something, and what it may be. He said that the indicators under stimulants (which includes meth) were exactly what my dad was exhibiting. And remember, my boyfriend is a cop, so he's trained to be able to detect when someone is on something. These were also the same symptoms my dad has been exhibiting off and on for the past couple of years.
Jon feels the same way I do now. He's very concerned for my dad, because it is obvious he is living in an altered state of reality, and truly believes that his delusions are real. And, he's concerned for my mother's safety, because my dad seems hell-bent on proving he's right... and the fact that he's using drugs make his behavior highly unpredictable.
At this point, I don't know what the hell to do. I am so scared for my brothers, too. If my dad really is convincing him of this stuff (they are 19 and 20, and not very emotionally or intellectually mature. And I know how confused I felt at first when my dad started trying to convince me weeks ago, because in a way he sounds so sane and rational, and like he really believes what he's saying. Plus, it's hard to admit that your dad has gone seriously crazy. So, I can only imagine the mental prison my brothers must be locked in right now). I don't know how to help them though. Part of me wants to just run away and not be involved... and I know that in a way it's probably what is best for me. But I can't stand by and watch my dad destroy my brother's lives with all this garbage.
I want to confront my dad, but I know it won't do any good. I want to tell his family that he's on meth (I know none of them, except my dad's brother knows -- and even my dad's brother is in serious denial about it, and doesn't think it's "that bad.") But my dad's family has always had a habit of sweeping things under the rug, and pretending like they aren't happening. They don't like dealing with things, and I don't think they'll want to believe this. So, I risk alienating my family. Plus, I don't know if I can have a relationship with my dad while he is in this sort of a state. I love my dad very much, and want him to continue being a part of my life. But, not like this. So, I'm afraid of losing him, too.
I'll admit I'm jealous of those of people whose parents have "normal" reasons for divorce. I wish it were something as simple as my dad decided to leave my mom for some 25-year-old, or that my parents had just grown apart and no longer were happy together, or some of the other typical reasons people get divorced. Why do I have to have a dad who is on drugs, destroying his life and the lives of everyone around him, and concocting all these horrifying conspiracy theories?!
I feel like a shell of a person right now. I felt like I was just starting to kind of pull myself up from all of this, and then my dad has to pull this crap, and on my boyfriend's birthday at that! I thought after going to my grandfather's 85th birthday party the weekend before (I ultimately decided I was more likely to regret not going, than going), that things would be okay. My dad seemed mostly normal. My family seemed inviting, and I felt like eventually things would settle down, and I'd still be able to have my dad's family in my life. I just figured I'd have to suffer with the depression and hurt of seeing my parents' marriage dissolve, and the anger and frustration over the implications that had for my own life. But this is all so much more than that.
Even after the meeting with my mom a week ago, (where she told us they were going to have to sell the house, and would probably have to do so sooner than we expected, and also that our family dog, who is 12, isn't doing so hot, and that there is a possibility we may have to put him down after the house is sold) I figured those were painful things, but they were "normal" and I'd survive it. It hurt like hell to realize I'd be losing my childhood home, and my childhood pet.
But those things feel like nothing compared to how I feel now. I'd give anything to just have my dad back to "normal." What's going on with my dad is so much more serious than losing the house, or our dog, or my parents divorcing. He's sick. He's addicted to drugs. He's destroying his life. And he's taking everyone down with him. And I feel so helpless and lost and scared. I really don't know what the hell to do...
I arrived at Jon's house shortly after he came home from meeting with my dad. He told me that my dad pulled out a bunch of papers (like the ones he had been trying to show me and everyone else, as "proof" of what my mom had been supposedly doing). And he basically started trying to convince Jon that his paranoid delusions were real.
He also had new "information." He told my boyfriend that he now believes that my mother is part of a prostitution ring out of a nearby city (that is known for crime and gangs and violence). He said that through this ring my mother has access to over $100k. He also said that he found a piece of paper (one of his "tracings," I'm presuming) with six names on it, including my mother's. It appeared to him to be some sort of vote sheet. Two of the names, including my mother's, had a "no" after it. He claims that this prostitution ring had decided to have my dad killed on July 6, 2006, (he says now that this is when my mom's CD account is up) because he supposedly had found out too much about all this money. He said he was supposed to be shot during a drug deal gone bad in another local city notorious for crime and violence. He then went on to tell my boyfriend that my mother had been with 322 men through this prostitution ring. (If you knew my mother, you would understand how absolutely ludicrous this is. My mother is NOT a prostitute. She doesn't look like the kind of person who could be a prostitute. And morally and spiritually she is not that kind of person either.)
He kept trying to show Jon all of these papers he had. Jon told him that nothing he had would prove anything, and that they wouldn't hold up as evidence. My dad told Jon that he was thinking of tapping the phone lines to find out what was going on. Jon advised him against it, telling him that it was illegal. Then my dad said he knew that my mom's dad had a safe at his house (which is true) and that my dad thinks he knows the combination to the safe. And he thinks that my mom has been hiding money in there. He told Jon he wanted to go over to my grandfather's house, and Jon advised him against that, too. He also said something about my mom shuffling money from one account to like 32 other accounts, in an attempt to not leave a paper trail (which actually would leave MORE of a paper trail... wouldn't it?)
Then he told Jon that he thought he had my two brothers convinced, and that he thought he had his parents convinced of what was going on, and of what my mom was doing. He even said he's been having my youngest brother, who is still living in my parents' house with my mom, bring him pieces of paper (I'm assuming out of notebooks and notepads and stuff my mom has used), and that's how he's getting all this new information.
Then my dad said that he was worried that I didn't believe him. Jon reminded him that I didn't want to be put in the middle of his problems with my mom. And then he told him that unless my dad had official evidence that absolutely proved what he was saying, I wouldn't believe it. It pisses me off because almost two weeks ago I went out to dinner with my dad, and told him I didn't want to be put in the middle. And he told me he understood and agreed that neither myself nor my brothers should be put in the middle of all of this. And then he tries to drag my boyfriend in the middle, essentially to try to convince me!
Jon also told me that my dad was almost definitely on some sort of stimulant when he met with him. He pulled out this card officers use to help identify that someone is under the influence of something, and what it may be. He said that the indicators under stimulants (which includes meth) were exactly what my dad was exhibiting. And remember, my boyfriend is a cop, so he's trained to be able to detect when someone is on something. These were also the same symptoms my dad has been exhibiting off and on for the past couple of years.
Jon feels the same way I do now. He's very concerned for my dad, because it is obvious he is living in an altered state of reality, and truly believes that his delusions are real. And, he's concerned for my mother's safety, because my dad seems hell-bent on proving he's right... and the fact that he's using drugs make his behavior highly unpredictable.
At this point, I don't know what the hell to do. I am so scared for my brothers, too. If my dad really is convincing him of this stuff (they are 19 and 20, and not very emotionally or intellectually mature. And I know how confused I felt at first when my dad started trying to convince me weeks ago, because in a way he sounds so sane and rational, and like he really believes what he's saying. Plus, it's hard to admit that your dad has gone seriously crazy. So, I can only imagine the mental prison my brothers must be locked in right now). I don't know how to help them though. Part of me wants to just run away and not be involved... and I know that in a way it's probably what is best for me. But I can't stand by and watch my dad destroy my brother's lives with all this garbage.
I want to confront my dad, but I know it won't do any good. I want to tell his family that he's on meth (I know none of them, except my dad's brother knows -- and even my dad's brother is in serious denial about it, and doesn't think it's "that bad.") But my dad's family has always had a habit of sweeping things under the rug, and pretending like they aren't happening. They don't like dealing with things, and I don't think they'll want to believe this. So, I risk alienating my family. Plus, I don't know if I can have a relationship with my dad while he is in this sort of a state. I love my dad very much, and want him to continue being a part of my life. But, not like this. So, I'm afraid of losing him, too.
I'll admit I'm jealous of those of people whose parents have "normal" reasons for divorce. I wish it were something as simple as my dad decided to leave my mom for some 25-year-old, or that my parents had just grown apart and no longer were happy together, or some of the other typical reasons people get divorced. Why do I have to have a dad who is on drugs, destroying his life and the lives of everyone around him, and concocting all these horrifying conspiracy theories?!
I feel like a shell of a person right now. I felt like I was just starting to kind of pull myself up from all of this, and then my dad has to pull this crap, and on my boyfriend's birthday at that! I thought after going to my grandfather's 85th birthday party the weekend before (I ultimately decided I was more likely to regret not going, than going), that things would be okay. My dad seemed mostly normal. My family seemed inviting, and I felt like eventually things would settle down, and I'd still be able to have my dad's family in my life. I just figured I'd have to suffer with the depression and hurt of seeing my parents' marriage dissolve, and the anger and frustration over the implications that had for my own life. But this is all so much more than that.
Even after the meeting with my mom a week ago, (where she told us they were going to have to sell the house, and would probably have to do so sooner than we expected, and also that our family dog, who is 12, isn't doing so hot, and that there is a possibility we may have to put him down after the house is sold) I figured those were painful things, but they were "normal" and I'd survive it. It hurt like hell to realize I'd be losing my childhood home, and my childhood pet.
But those things feel like nothing compared to how I feel now. I'd give anything to just have my dad back to "normal." What's going on with my dad is so much more serious than losing the house, or our dog, or my parents divorcing. He's sick. He's addicted to drugs. He's destroying his life. And he's taking everyone down with him. And I feel so helpless and lost and scared. I really don't know what the hell to do...
posted by Dani | 10:34 AM
2 Comments:
When the man I love broke up with me, my world fell apart. I had gone to several casters and I got no results or insufficient ones. I found alteroffiretemple@gmail.com and gave another try to retrieve my lover and restore the passionate relationship I had with him. I’m so glad I did and trusted him. He performed a spiritual cleansing to banish negative energies and cast a love spell. After 3days, the man I missed dearly started to call me and told me few days ago that he still loves me and wants to try again. Thank you
:-/ just realized how pathetic I am only 22 and have no right call myself a man wanted her back so long and I do love her haven't touched another female in any physical or mental way in a year and two months three days since day she packed and left and I've felt so lonely since she been gone can't come understand why she gone and its cause me me me me me me me me me all fucking me chose dope over her and even worse here's devil this whole time she's been gone seen her 4 times that I had beg her come see my boy and still lie and been choosing dope while time she's been gone I claim and tell he I'm clean still text her once twice week just or on come downs and send her paragraphs bout anything and everything and won't get single response so Ill send one saying still love you or just I love you and every time she replies love you to but nothing not another word I'm on 5th day being up now and so much I did wrong all of it and my own mind can't even keep up with wanna type just want her know how truly sorry I am never meant heart her but I got to go think if I could prob end it all right about now sorry for anybody who has ever had go through facing walking devils thank you miss for this and so sorry to all who crossed my path love you Miranda dawn Creswell forever forgive me for my self made mental illness I can't control anymore
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